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Thursday, 17 March 2011 18:00

Board members of the Children's Rights Council of Illinois listened to recommendations and testimony at the Illinois Family Law Study Committee hearing on January 30, 2009 in Chicago.

Dr. Ravitz formerly practiced in Chicago and is now at NYU's Child Study Center. Dr. Ravitz offered recommendations to the Illinois Family Law Study Committee on December 30, 2009. (Click here for website of Dr. Alan Ravitz)

The following is excerpted from, "Divorce and the Holidays: Split Decisions or Family Friendly Compromise?" by Alan Ravitz, M.D., M.S. NYU Child Study Center, by Dr. Alan Ravitz

"Children feel most secure when they know that parents place their welfare, both emotional and physical, at the top of their list of priorities (Karen,1994). Parents can accomplish this regardless of whether or not they physically live with their children. All children are comforted by the knowledge that someone older, wiser, and more competent than they is willing to protect and care for them. This is what attachment theory is all about. We know that kids do best when raised in an environment in which their physiological needs are consistently, predictably, and lovingly met. But in order for them to develop the capacity to initiate and sustain healthy interpersonal relationships throughout their lives, their emotional needs must be addressed as well. For children of divorce, this includes overt and covert permission from each parent to maintain a loving, intimate relationship with the other. A confident sense of self derives from children's awareness that their parents really know them and accept them for who they are. This requires that mothers and/or fathers confidently recognize their children's best interests even when the kids themselves do not. It is also vitally important that parents be aware of the possibility that they and their children may have significantly divergent priorities. This is particularly true in divorced and divorcing families."

 

Last Updated on Friday, 20 January 2012 09:16
 

The Children's Rights Council of Illinois is a chapter of the national Children's Rights Council. We are a non-profit service provider led by volunteer parents.  We develop regional co-parenting support groups and provide access to a statewide network that is committed to the best Shared Parenting practices and to helping others stay connected with their children.

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